I've realized over and over that one of my favorite things to do was sit and watch people. Tonight, I single-handedly lurked over the entire New College campus, CVS, and the Bayshore on the Lakes apartment complex. In lack of better things to do, I tried roller skating a couple hours ago, gripping the railing and watching the floor as if I'd find something more interesting than what was up ahead. Didn't find much.
I began to write, but of course all that came out was the mumbling I recited before putting pen to paper...and we all know how that usually turns out.
Adena's apartment is empty and completely void of any and all artificial stimulation. Although the solitude was much needed, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a social butterfly.
After taking my ritual "Crying Game" shower, straightening my hair, and applying foundation to cover the face I never finished growing into, I remembered what things were like a couple months ago. From the outside looking in, some might say my life is unstable now. "I beg to differ," I'd say, but now it seems that maybe fourty hours a week, a shitty relationship, school, and rent is what is actually stable. This doesn't mean I want to be stable again, but the option is in the air.
Of course, I cannot comprehend starting over again while still holding residence at a place where I learned to accept the nihilistic, drug-induced lifestyle I've succumb to. Looks like I'll be moving, again.
In a world filled with new desires, new experiences, new friends, and new days, I'd hate to live the same ones more than once, in fear of my life becoming as dull and repetitive as those I critisize. Maybe it'll give me something new to write about.